This is the text I sent my son, Grant...

Strength comes in all forms. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Grant, I am thankful to God for grabbing my heart back in the 70s and helping me learn how important it was to build my spiritual muscles. Life is hard, and when all is said and done, spiritual strength is the core of getting you through life, and not only getting you through it, but enjoying it along the way. And emotional strength? That too. I think Mama helped me with that the most as I was growing up - telling me things like "sometimes you have to keep going, even if you don't feel like it," and "you have to do the job whether you want to or not," and, "some things are worth crying over but this isn't one of them, so stop crying," - things like that.

And then there's physical strength. Early in my college days, I wanted to be intentional in taking care of my physical health, so I joined in the craze of running and aerobics, and worked hard at it, even majoring in health education. But I never saw the importance of resistance training with weights and a barbell. That didn't happen until I was 61 years old. It was YOU who kept telling me that though I was "fit," I was weak. Insulting but true. So you started me on a journey of getting under a barbell.

I had no idea how much this was going to help me in the final two years of Mama's life. In 2019, the same year I began weightlifting, she was diagnosed with white matter disease. And then typical Frances McKay fashion, she looked it up and she knew what was coming. After all, she was retired registered nurse – and so she began preparing herself (and us) for what was to come. I think we children were somewhat in denial because she had always been so strong – but nonetheless, it strikes me that her mental decline and my getting strong began at the same time.

Then she had her brain bleed in January 2022 that sent her on a downward spiral. Those first days were so tough as she was in the hospital - and you were such a source of strength for me, you came, and you stayed with me at the farm and you even got me in the gym when I certainly did not feel like it. Mama was then moved to an intense rehab facility, and then to Bethea Baptist retirement home, where she had always said she wanted to live if she could no longer live at home. we realized at some point that there was no way she could live at her home again. But, she had even made those arrangements financially. It's not that she did not love us her children, but she had expressed that she did not want us to care for her in that way. She just wanted us to spend time with her.

So the last two years of her life, with her memory fading, she was still so much fun. She was confused, yes, but she laughed a lot, and we saw her all the time, took her places, and told her stories, and basically enjoyed life with her. Then, in the last two months before she died, her physical body, which had always been so strong and robust, took a huge turn. As you know, she lost her ability to walk as her brain could not send the signals anymore, she became wheelchair bound, and I quickly learned that I was strong enough to literally deadlift her from her recliner to her bed to her wheelchair to the car to wherever it was that I wanted to take her. She still enjoyed life in her limited capacity and I wanted to enjoy life with her till the very end.

And I did, as did my siblings. God is so very kind. She is now rejoicing with her Savior.

Grant, in some ways, these past two years have been the hardest of my life, but I have seen God work - He kept giving me the physical strength, the emotional strength, and most of all the spiritual strength to walk through them.

And though my heart is still grieving, I am strong, because God is strong, and I know that, as time goes on, the weight of the grief won't feel so heavy. The stress of it will make me stronger. I will adapt and I will be better for it by the grace of God.

And I thank you for your part in this. I love you, Mom